The One-Minute Mentor part 5: Dennis Peacocke – Read!

One of the questions I asked Dennis on our airport drive was, “What would you say to a young person beginning their leadership journey?” His response very simply was, “Read as much as you can. I spent the first three years before I launched into vocational ministry reading and studying. Looking back, I wish I would have taken five.”

As much as you may have heard the constant coercions of leadership gurus to read, study, grow, and develop a personal improvement plan, well, I’m going to join the ranks. At thirty-one years old, with two formal education degrees and a slightly decent disciplined approach to personal growth, I feel like I am “late to the game” in many areas of my leadership development. There are certain subjects of interest that are significantly pertinent to my calling and profession of which I am altogether ignorant. Frankly, I relied on formal education to be the substitute for personal responsibility. I played the victim, and I am paying for it.

As a young leader, be careful that you do not limit your growth and development to formal education and experience alone. The education system is simply a tool to feed and facilitate the innate hunger of one’s own mind.

“General Patton’s real formal education was not necessarily through class instruction, where his performance was always mediocre at best, but rather through his own disciplined course of reading . . .”*

On a book I recently picked up on the ethical biography of Abraham Lincoln, I was shocked to discover that Lincoln possessed not more than one year of formal education. One of the greatest presidents that has privileged this nation to date was a self-educated man, one of the very few accomplishments that he took pride in the most.

I want to encourage you to develop your own customized university degree, with curriculum composed of the vast array of works on a broad spectrum of subjects available to you from multiple venues of easy access and availability. Keep reading, keep growing, keep developing. Never lose your curiosity or your hunger. The moment you do, you have plateaued in the stewardship of your potential, your production and your leadership.

* Hugh Hewitt, In, But Not Of, (Nashville, TN, Thomas Nelson, Inc., 2003), 23.
William Lee Miller, Lincoln’s Virtues: An Ethical Biography, (New York, Alfred A. Knopf Publishing, 2002).

The One-Minute Mentor Part 4: Dennis Peacocke – Take Care of Your Family

“If you want to know a man – look at his wife. If you really want to know a man – look at his children.”

I’ve heard this statement many times before, but when Dennis said this to me on the airport curb as he exited the vehicle, something gripped my attention to a greater degree than it ever had before. It doesn’t matter what the world thinks of you, it doesn’t matter what the distant devotees say about you. What matters is the perception that has been solidified in the minds of those closest to you. In his book, The Success Journey, John Maxwell defines success as, “having those closest to me love and respect me the most.” He goes on to say in Make Today Count, “Success would be impossible if I achieved outwardly but failed to take my family with me on the journey. The applause of others would never replace the appreciation of my family. Respect from others meant little if I did not have the respect of my loved ones.”

Perhaps Dennis’ closing words struck me as deeply as they did because of the season that I’m in. As young leaders, it is critical to discern what season we are in. (More on this later.) About four months ago, I distinctly heard the Lord tell me this is a season to focus on my family. The latter half of last year was very taxing and exacted a significant withdraw on my marriage and family. In addition, Christy and I both foresaw an upcoming period of time where travel would increase in frequency and duration.

Beyond periods of time throughout the year where we reassess and fill up the “love tanks” of our family members, as a whole, the early years in our leadership are the best times to define and develop the culture of our marriages and families. The following are questions that I am working through:
- What culture do I want to create and sustain in my family?
- What core values do I want to build my marriage and family around?
- What practices or habits do I need to implement now to sustain lasting success in my family?
- How can I assume greater leadership in the stewardship of my marriage and family?
- What changes do I need to make personally to maximize my leadership potential within my family?

There are numerous other evaluative questions that I am working through, but this a window into my season, and a good reference point for you. Take care of your family; their countenance will be the greatest validation of your credibility and integrity as a leader.

The One-Minute Mentor Part 3: Dennis Peacocke – The Basics

A couple of weeks ago, my senior pastor hosted a roundtable discussion with some key leaders around the nation. I had the opportunity to take Dennis Peacocke to the airport and seized the opportunity to ask him some questions in the brief 20-minute ride. Dennis Peacocke is a seasoned, apostolic leader who is a critical voice for the cultural issues that are facing the church in this hour. You can learn more about who Dennis Peacocke is at his website: http://www.gostrategic.org/. This posting is my personal commentary on just one of the lessons that he shared with me that day.

You never graduate beyond the basics
The “smarter” you are and the more gifted you are, the more you need to stay grounded in the basics. Everything flows out of the basics. Sports, music, martial arts, and our Christian lives are all rooted out of the basics. The temptation will be to move out beyond the basics as “success” comes our way, but the basics are what enable you to move forward in the kingdom.

Throughout my undergraduate and graduate studies in church ministry, many of the professors continually admonished us as the next generation of ministers to keep our devotional times with Jesus throughout our process of training and study. I remember thinking at the time that this was a no-brainer, such an obvious directive for those on the path to spiritual leadership. Over the years; however, I’ve discovered the wisdom in these warnings, as the busyness of ministry constantly contends for our time and energy. If I’m not careful, I’ll find myself using my “devotional” times to prepare for messages, substituting corporate prayer meetings for quiet reflection and worship services for intimacy with Jesus.

This lesson reminds me of the coaching philosophy of the great basketball coach of the UCLA Bruins, John Wooden. John Maxwell mentions the fact that during the first practice of every season Coach Wooden would teach his players to tie their shoes, emphasizing the crucial importance of the fundamentals to everything they did as individuals and as a team.

“In fact, his players say they don’t recall their coach ever stressing the importance of winning a game. For Wooden, it was about sticking to the fundamentals.” On the first day of practice, I remember him saying, ‘I’m not going to be talking to you about winning or losing because I think that’s a byproduct of our preparation. I would much rather be focused on the process of becoming the best team we’re capable of becoming,’” says John Vallely, who played under Wooden on the 1969 and 1970 UCLA national championship basketball teams.”
(http://www.entrepreneur.com/management/leadership/article176282.html)

Our faithfulness to the “basics” of Christian faith and devotion will help establish a sure foundation that will ensure longevity in our leadership, and most importantly, in our lives.

1 Timothy 4:1 – “The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons.”

The One-Minute Mentor pt. 2 – Ask Good Questions

One of the things Pastor Tim told me that day at the lunch table (refer to part one of this series) was to always be ready with a list of questions when an opportunity presents itself. Insight questions, relevant questions, purposeful questions. Sometimes, the moment you have with someone you respect may be only a minute. Believe it or not, if you are purposeful, you can get a lot out of a conversation in just a few minutes.

Proverbs 2:3 says that if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding . . . then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. (v.5) Calling out and crying aloud are forms of seeking or asking.

If wisdom is hidden in a person’s heart, then a rightly asked question is the key that unlocks it and brings it forth. Become a master at asking the right questions. Asking insightful questions communicates a number of things:

1. Teachability – Asking perceptive questions displays a hunger for continual growth and development. It is an acknowledgement that you don’t have it all figured out, that you are open to new perspectives, and that you want to grow. People who think they know it all do not need to ask questions because they are content with where they are.

2. Discernment – Talking too much in the presence of someone who is pulled on by many demands from many people can reveal a lack of discernment. I’m not saying you can’t have a conversation – just don’t dominate it. This isn’t the time to present your verbal resume or spout off your opinion on every issue. When you have an opportunity to mine a well – mine it.

3. Honor – I have a number of experiences where I’ve sat down with young adults and listened to them share their heart and their story for hours. Not once did they ask me what I thought. Not once did they ask about me. Not once did they ask for counsel or perspective. So I didn’t offer any.

Here are some questions that will help you get started when you find yourself in an opportune moment:

- What books have significantly shaped your life?
- What events or experiences have made you who you are?
- What habits or disciplines did you establish to help you get where you are?
- What pitfalls can I avoid from your life? What mistakes have you made that I can learn from?
- What would you do differently in your leadership journey?
- What would you recommend that someone at my stage in the journey be doing?
- What are your top three life lessons?
- What are the top three things you would tell me about leadership?
- What are the top three things you would tell me about marriage?
- If you could share anything to help a young emerging leader – what would it be?

Over time, you will develop your own list of questions and your own style of bringing them up at the right time. Wisdom is calling out; it’s all around you (Proverbs 8:1). Go arm yourself with some questions and find out what she has to say.

Proverbs 13:20 says, “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” I have been careful not to allow people to become the voice of the Lord for me, but have also been listening for the voice of the Lord through them. It is one of the many ways that He speaks to us.

The One-Minute Mentor: Seize the Moment

At a summer camp before my senior year of high school, I found myself sitting next to one of the keynote speakers of the camp. (His name is Tim Dilena, and to my great joy, I recently discovered that he is still passionately serving the Lord in vocational ministry today.) Not willing to miss an opportunity, I pulled my little spiral bound notebook out, pushed my cafeteria tray aside, and proceeded to capitalize on the moment. He graciously obliged, which is something I have found over the years that most people are willing to do.

I remember asking Pastor Tim, “What can a person my age (16 at the time) focus on to help me grow at this particular stage of my journey?”

Tim replied, “Keep doing this. Keep asking people who are a step ahead of you in life to speak into your life. Find people who are doing what you want to do and glean from the wisdom of their experiences. Be intentional about it. Seek them out. And never miss an opportunity to do what you are doing now.”

Since that summer in 1994, I have had the amazing privilege of stumbling upon some divine conversations with some amazing men and women. These have taken place during rides to airports, summer camp, lunches, outside of conference centers, in hallways, over coffee, over the phone, and a host of other random times and places. Many of the things that were shared have been very significant in my development, my philosophy, and my seasons.

Over the next couple of weeks, I’m going to share some of the wisdom I’ve gained from these various conversations as well as some pointers on how to maximize the moment with people you can glean from. I hope this motivates you to not allow moments to slip away from you that have the potential to impact your life. I guarantee that when God brings people into your path, whether short-term or long, who can speak into your life, they will be willing and honored to do it.